What 2020 Has Taught Me

There is no question that Covid19 had a profound effect on our lives, businesses, and economy, this past year, along with distance learning school, the wildfires here in California, the Black lives matter movement, and even the US elections.

2020 will go down in the books as being one of the most difficult years emotionally, mentally, and even physically for me, since I gained an extra 10 lbs. from all of the stress. 

However, despite its challenges, I learned several things this year, or at least, opened my mind even further and have been able to give deeper meaning to a couple of concepts that I thought I knew before, and realized it only scratched the surface. The 3 things are:

Processing Loss

Grief is a concept that I was very accustomed to especially being that I lost my own mother at the very young age of 4.

Grief for me was a process I would go through every time someone or something would die. For example I also grew up with 5 family dogs, all of whom passed as well, so I well know the concept of grief and how painful experiencing loss and death of a person near and dear to you can be.

However, the type of grief this past year that I have come to realize is one that doesn’t only need to mean someone dying. Grief can simply be the “feeling of loss” - There is a loss of normalcy, a loss of socialization, a loss of your best laid plans simply slipping away right through your fingers and there are feelings of pain, hurt, and sadness.

It’s an overwhelming feeling that can really engulf the best of us in a way that we end up not knowing how to move forward or we’re constantly in a state of frustration or anxiety.  

For me, trying to “mourn” a way of life just wasn’t something familiar or something I knew how to do. 

This year, I learned that when you lose something that was so fluid and routine, and quite frankly, maybe even something we took for granted, it definitely forces us to take a step back and put things in perspective. 

Mourning the loss of normalcy and socialization, allowed you to test our patience, to re-prioritize what’s most important in your life, and to check within yourself and see if what is around us really what you want from life.

So grieve if you haven’t had a chance to do so already and figure out from there, what is it that you really want and deserve?

Pivoting or Switching Gears

Adaptability is also another concept I thought I had mastered throughout the years, especially having to move around fairly often when I was younger for my single father’s work.

I remember having to make new friends often and even learn a new language. However, now as an adult and entrepreneur, adaptability is something I’ve cherished even more and know that having this ability or skill is somewhat of a gift. 

This past year, so many of us, especially the small and local business owners have had to learn to adapt or “pivot” was the buzz word used. Whether it was growing your business online and through social media or even distributing your services online like through online fitness or tutoring classes. Pivoting was crucial to survival and those who did it are still hanging tough.

Adaptability is one skill that you can exercise and stretch to reach and overcome the goals you have. It is simply going about them a different way that you had originally planned. Similar to if you were driving to a destination and you had it all mapped out in your head on which highway to take, or where to go, but there is a car crash in the road or an unexpected detour. What would you as the driver do? 

Learning and practicing how to adapt especially in this past year actually helps us become better business owners and entrepreneurs because when you’ve been able to “adapt” once, you can always do it again. It’s what in the “start-up” world, they would probably also call it as innovating or improvising.

So, if you haven’t had a chance to pivot your business or “adapt”, there would be 2 questions I would ask, “why not” and “what’s holding you back from doing so?”

Getting Back Up Again (and again, and again)

Last but certainly not least, I learned a lot about Resilience. This past year has taught me what real resilience looks like. It is the gym or salon owner who continues to do what she can when things keep getting thrown at her, or she keeps getting shut down due to stay-at-home orders. 

It’s the mother that continues to work with her young children, by helping them learn their school work and getting them some physical activity and spending time with nature, since being with friends may not be an option right now.

It’s our black and brown communities, continuing to fight for policy changes and opportunities to make things equitable.

It’s the elderly, the poor, the un-sheltered, the most vulnerable and finding ways to keep their spirits high amidst all of their disadvantages.

When we keep getting knocked down over, and over, and over again, learning how to get back up and work and adapt through adversity has shown me how resilient individuals can be, how resilient businesses can be, and most of all how resilient communities can be. 

I learned that the practice of resilience isn’t easy, it’s not even possible by having the willpower or the right frame of mind alone and that not everyone can be resilient at the snap of a finger. 

I realized when you work on being resilient “together”, when you tap into resilience not just within yourself, but seeing it in other people, that is when learning and practicing resilience can start to grow and get stronger.

Seeing someone else build themselves back, even better than before, can build yourself or inspire you to build back and maybe be more collaborative as well. My own coach would say, finding ways to “Pray and Move your Feet” gets you at least moving and on the path to being resilient.

Go ahead and share with me either in comments below or through email, what have you seen lately that shows how resilient individuals or our communities have been?

This health crisis and past year has hit many of us in various negative ways, the 1 positive of it all, is it has forced us to “slow” down, take a look at what’s all around us, give gratitude and determine is it worth it? 

If the answer is “no”, well let’s start to make the changes you want beginning with your core values and reconnecting you with your truest self. If the answer is still a resounding “Yes”, we will make it through, just hang in there a little bit longer.

Grief, Adaptability, and Resilience, 3 things I learned more about and have been clearly tested in 2020. Looking forward to seeing how we move past these 3 and which other concepts or character traits will we see sprout up and learn more about in the new year.

Thank you for your partnership and each and every one of you have taught me so much in 2020!

Happy New Year Everyone~I appreciate you all.