Fears of Seasons Past
Welcome to my three-part series dedicated to tackling the fears of seasons past.
Now that Halloween and the celebration of ghosts, goblins, and ghouls, has come and gone, I have to ask myself, are the internal ghosts really gone? Suddenly, snippets from the movie, A Christmas Carol, with Scrooge and the 3 ghosts of Christmas past, future, and present, feel like they are right around the corner.
And before we start jumping into the holiday frenzy of preparing meals, shopping, and entertaining friends and family, I wanted to take a moment and share a few of the “ghosts” I have experienced throughout the years as well as some of the ghosts my clients face while growing their businesses.
Many times we don’t even realize it’s a ghost from the past that has manifested itself as a fear of the present or future. Even worse, we don’t realize it’s potentially hindering us from getting to that next level.
Photo by Abigail Keenan on Unsplash
So, over the next three blogs, I will go into detail about the six types of fear that prevent us from making progress. I anticipate some of these will ring true with you and, should you want to discuss them, I welcome you to reach out to me .
WHAT IS FEAR?
First, let’s start with the definition of fear as well as think about why it is an emotion or feeling that is truly innate within our body. It’s also important to understand why is it something that media, politicians, and general product marketing can capitalize on so easily.
Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing, and energized muscles, among other things, also known as the fight-or-flight response.
The brain, our most complex organ, identifies a “stressful stimulus” as something out of the ordinary. The stimulus stands out to someone or something and therefore causes a reaction, which, again, is the feeling of fear and many times it then moves into a physical reaction.
And as a physical reaction, I remember the beginning of the song “Lose Yourself”, by Eminem, ”His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy…”
In our everyday lives, fear shows up in many ways. A perfect example in the Bay Area right now is those who are evacuating of their homes due to fires in the area, “we are fearing for our lives, our families.”
People experience fear when they start school every fall, because they don’t knowing who their teacher is or classmates are going to be. People experience fear when they play sports because they want to perform well. People are also afraid they may get hurt.
Adults experience fear during the holidays. One of the biggest fears is that they won’t have enough time to get everything done. The energy is frenzied and chaotic because of all the “things we have to do” for our families and friends, especially for those who come in from out of town.
FEAR AND THE SMALL BUSINESS OWNER
Fear is all around us whether we realize it or not. For the small business owner, it could sound something like ”Wow! We are going to be really busy this season, and I am fearful we won’t be able to handle it.” Or, it could be the opposite, fear of the “it’s going to slow down significantly and we need to figure out unique ways, like enticing discounts, to keep our folks coming to us.” Even worse? The nagging fear of, “How do I stay afloat financially, during this dip in our business?”
One of the first things we need to do as business owners is to be aware of these concerns and identify our main fear then dig deeper by asking, “Where is this ‘ghost’ coming from?”
THE SIX TYPES OF FEAR
To give us a framework for discussion, I’ve narrowed down our fears into six general categories. Each category has two sides to the coin, because each fear has a closely related “sibling” or “step-sibling,” if you will. No tricks here, by the way. This isn’t going to be like 2 Face in the Batman movies. This coin does not have the same face on each side.
My six general categories of fear, in no particular order, are:
1. Fear of Failure
2. Fear of Loss
3. Fear of Rejection
4. Fear of Judgement
5. Fear of the Unknown
6. Fear of Success
In each blog post, I will address two of the six general fears. This post will tackle the fear of failure and the fear of loss.
FEAR #1: THE FEAR OF FAILURE
The fear of failure involves the fear of making a mistake or the fear of not being perfect. It could also look like, the fear of taking the next “wrong” step, so you end up doing nothing.
This could look like a client who has been tossing and turning, not knowing what to do. They are on the precipice of something huge because they have done their market research, they know what they are about to provide is important and very much needed. Because they know there is a market out there, they are confident this new venture can be profitable. In addition, it’s something they are passionate about and they want to share this passion with others.
So they are ready to jump off the cliff, but in the back of their mind, something is holding them back. They keep thinking, “Well, maybe I’ll do more research to get even more knowledge. Or, maybe I’ll just keep this project or service to myself and share it with only those closest to me.”
Thus minimal or no action is taken because the fear of “failing” or messing up is too great. We’d rather stay in the comfort zone and keep things status quo. But what if we were to ask, what will happen to us if we allow the fear of failure to take over?
I am of the belief that there are no mistakes that are fatal in business. There may be bad decisions or judgments, but not fatal mistakes. With each misstep, we learn and we grow. In fact, how do you learn and grow if you never make a mistake? It’s so important to our own business journey and personal development to make mistakes. Therefore, failure is NOT an option, it’s a necessity as a blip on your business timeline.
When you don’t learn to fail, you don’t learn to dust yourself off and get back up. Any successful person will share with you that their many failures made them a better and more successful business owner.
FEAR #2: THE FEAR OF LOSS OR LETTING GO
The fear of loss or letting go often revolves around the loss of one thing in exchange for something else.
For example, a business owner might not spend money on buying new equipment or purchasing a new program because of the fear the losing of money. Another fear of loss that business owners face is that they’ll lose time or not have enough time. There’s also fear of establishing a certain brand or identity and potentially losing that brand or identity over time. (There is more on that to come when I go into “fear of change or the unknown.”)
But the fear of loss can come up if there’s a new investment that presents itself and you want to hang onto your own money, or maybe it’s also fear of letting go of certain tasks. As a business owner, you may have the fear of losing control and instead of delegating to others to complete certain projects, you do it yourself instead. It could also, be the fear of not being able to manage that piece of your business anymore and this pertains many times when partners become involved as well.
What you have to ask yourself is this: “By hanging on to this ‘thing’ (whether it be money or that particular work or task) so tightly, what is it NOT allowing me to do? What am I missing out on because I am afraid to part with this money or task?”
If there is a laundry list of things you’ll miss out on by hanging on to that money or task, and if those things are very important to serving your clients, then you want to better understand if the fear of loss or letting go is holding you back.
Fear of losing money or fear of letting go many times doesn’t allow your passions to fully flourish. You are being led by the fear, instead of being challenged by it.
The fear of losing money, time, or some daily tasks associated with your work, can also coincide with really, the fear of failing and therefore not making the most of the opportunity.
When you put your money where your mouth is (as the saying goes) it’s about commitment. You are committed to making your business work, otherwise, you wouldn’t have put your money in it to begin with. Same goes with time, since you’ve committed a good amount of your time to your business, it needs to bring value. So get your value from all the time you’ve spent by letting go of your fear of loss. It’s a funny relationship, isn’t it?
Lastly, with letting go of certain tasks or duties, you’ll want to view this as an opportunity to do the things you LOVE to do!
HOW DO YOUR FEARS IMPACT YOUR BUSINESS?
So, I’ll leave you with those two fears to ponder on for now. The first step in overcoming our fears is being aware and identifying it as a FEAR to begin with. We all have them and they show up in many different ways, and if we don’t address them, they will continue to haunt us time and time again.
How are fears currently showing up for you in your business? What decisions or actions have you taken, or more importantly, not taken because of Fear of Failure or Fear of Losing Something or Letting Go?
Please send me a line or set up a strategy session on my calendar as I would love to hear what is coming up for you.
COMING UP NEXT…
In my next blog post, I’ll write about fear of rejection and fear of judgement. They may seem the same, but there are subtle differences that I will pinpoint in the post, especially when it comes to business.