Fear and Guilt…the Decisions that Define You
From the moment we wake up, we are required to make decisions every day—some small (like what to wear), what to say, and some life-altering, like what to do, where to go, and who to trust. As a coach, I see it all the time: capable, thoughtful people who are stuck, drained, or dissatisfied - not because of lack of clarity or lack of desire, but because they are making decisions from the wrong place. Choices that are quietly driven by fear and/or guilt.
And here’s the truth: those two emotions are incredibly persuasive. They often feel urgent, convincing, even necessary. But the truth is, when fear and guilt steer the wheel, we often end up somewhere we never intended to go.
So if you’re someone who struggles with people pleasing, overthinking, feeling torn between what you want and what you should do- you are not alone and In the right place.
Let’s talk about what it means to take your power back.
The Invisible Grip of Fear
Fear has always been an emotion that is here to protect us—fight or flight, survival instinct. But in modern life, fear rarely looks like running away from wild animals. It shows up as:
Fear of Loss or being alone
Fear of Rejection or disappointing others
Fear of Judgement
Fear of Success
Fear of Change or the unknown
Fear of Failure
Look back on my Fear of Season’s Past Series of 2019 to read more about the different fears. When fear runs the show, we make decisions to avoid pain, not to pursue what we actually want. We stay in businesses that drain us, relationships that no longer serve us, or routines that stunt our growth—all because the alternative feels too uncertain, too risky, too much.
Comfort isn’t always Clarity. And fear keeps you “stuck” in the familiar, even when it’s no longer serving you.
How Guilt Complicates Growth
Then there’s guilt—another heavy hitter and a bit trickier to identify.
Guilt often masquerades as responsibility or of conscience. However, often it is tangled up with shame, people-pleasing, or an internalization of never being enough. You may think you’re being kind, loyal, or selfless. But really, you’re abandoning your own needs to avoid discomfort. I often find myself, reminding my current teenager son, “get your needs filled first” - you deserve it!
Guilt sounds like:
“They’ve done so much for me—I should stay.” or “let them take off whenever they want.”
“If I say no, they’ll be disappointed.” or “they’ll leave me.”
“I don’t want to seem selfish.” ~ “I can “fill” in when necessary”
Sound familiar?
When guilt is driving your decisions, you’re likely compromising your truth to protect someone else’s feelings.
And decisions based on guilt rarely LEAD to growth or expansion. They breed resentment, burnout, and disconnect from one’s authentic self.
So how do you recognize these PATTERNS?
Emotions Aren’t the Enemy—But They Aren’t the CEO Either
Start by paying attention to the inner dialogue before a big (or small) decision. Ask yourself:
“Is this decision aligned with my values?”
Am I doing this because I genuinely want to?
Or am I doing this because I am afraid of what might happen if I don’t?
“Am I choosing from trust, purpose, or intention or am I choosing from fear?”
“What would I want, if guilt wasn’t part of the equation?”
That pause—that self-check—is everything.
What Decision-Making From Alignment Looks Like
Aligned decisions feel grounded. They might still feel scary or uncomfortable (growth often is), but they are rooted in:
✅ Clarity about what matters most
✅ Curiosity about what’s possible
✅ Courage to act from your truth, not your triggers
From this place, you can set boundaries without guilt. Say yes without fear. Walk away without shame. And step forward with intention.
Try This Coaching Practice
If you’re facing a tough decision, grab a journal and reflect on these questions:
Knowing my purpose and values, is this still the decision that I would choose?
Fully trusting myself and removing fear, what would I do instead?
What outcome am I trying to control?
What would I tell a close friend in this same situation?
Let your answers guide you—not the noise of fear or the weight of guilt.
In Closing
Sometimes the most empowering thing you can do is say no. I always say, if you are saying “no” to something, you are ALWAYS saying YES to something else. That something else could be a difficult conversation, a new vision or product launch, a step toward success or a life that truly excites you.
And if you’ve been making decisions from fear or guilt, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human and it also means you have an opportunity—to learn, to shift, and to lead your life more consciously.
Let’s connect if you're ready to make decisions that reflect the real you, as I’d love to support many business owners on that journey.
Because YOU shape your path and your next chapter.